Starry Wisdom

“Are you OK Al? You seem … distant.”

Thanks for caring / asking / wondering. No. I am not OK. And yes … I am “distant”.

Distant / withdrawn is what I do when I become really depressed. And I am really depressed.

Some of the list.

Health issue. Diagnosis is “severe arthritis” in my right leg. The pain has been incredible. I was thinking/hoping it was some muscle issue. Nope. A powerful NSAID is keeping the pain at bay… with its cheerful Black Box warnings from the FDA about all the horrific things it might do to me. Awaiting consultation with specialist soon. I suspect surgery and bionic man stuff in my future.

I am appalled / depressed / disgusted at what I see in the news every day. “Don’t read the news. It’s all about the bad stuff …. that’s how they sell their product / manipulate people.” Yeah … I know. The word “news” no longer applies to most of it. And I know about what they really are… just more greed-and-power lusting and obsessed businesses. Money money money money. And whatever their social/political/religious agendas and biases are.

So set that aside for the moment.

I get plenty of shit right here… right where I live… unfiltered by liars.

Q-anon and other conspiracy theory believing lunatics.

Trump loving.

Corrupt GOP.

Religious fundamentalists and their misogynistic anti-LGBTG lies and hatred.

Willfully ignorant.

Devoid of critical thinking skills.

Science-denying anti-vax/mask selfish deluded disease-spreading mutation-incubating fools.

Etc., etc., etc..

The picture of me sitting alone on Facebook? Yeah… that’s how I feel… and it’s not new. What do I have in common with all these people? Not a damned thing. Respect their delusions … ignorance… selfishness ..bigotry…. sexism… greed… anger… violence (like the fine fellow walking down the street outside my favorite (shut down thanks to COVID) music venue and restaurant firing an AR) … disregard for public health and safety…. the list goes on.

And the worst of it? People try to explain / justify / excuse all this … telling me I am the one who is fooled for not believing “The Big Lie” or that COVID was a hoax.

When asked by Kathy why I was not happy given what I good person I am (never mind the details) … the Psychologist did not miss a beat… “He feels like he is living in a loony bin.”

Yes, I do. Yes, I am.

Yes … there are exceptions. I am blessed to know a few… a very precious few.

There’s a lot more… but it doesn’t matter. “Could be worse”. Sure. Don’t care. It is bad enough right here… right now… and that’s where I live.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for caring.