As far back as I can remember…. which unfortunately is pretty far … many people have used the following adjectives to describe me: intimidating or scary.
This hurt me … and never made any sense. I am very empathetic … have “one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen”. Mostly rather shy.
I would occasionally, when I got really sick of it or hurt… I would ask for an explanation. Always the same damned thing… “I don’t know… there’s just something about you.”
“I don’t know… there’s just something about you.” “I don’t know… there’s just something about you.” “I don’t know… there’s just something about you.” “I don’t know… there’s just something about you.”
Wanna guess how sick I became of that?
Totally worthless…. and also, what people would sometimes say when they were talking about me being “wonderful” or similar.
Often the people who started off being “intimidated” became friends. When asked again they said “Once I got to know you you are a really great person” etc.. Huh?
One day I was having a session with my very perceptive and wise psychologist dealing with some PTSD issues. Someone had recently done it again and so I asked her about it. She started laughing. I did not think it funny. “You’re not laughing.” No … I wasn’t… and I told her that since I was paying her I wanted an answer. Did she have one? “”Oh yes. You are highly empathic. And have an odd obsession with truth and honesty. It’s like a force you give off. People can feel it. They know you see them truly … and that makes a lot of people uncomfortable.”
I tried out that explanation on a couple of people. “Yup. That’s it. Absolutely.”
Today I saw this. It captures it pretty well. More than you wanted to know about me perhaps but … it’s what is on my mind at the moment. Thanks for tuning in.
Starry Wisdom 
I get the impression that people “think” (incorrectly) you take pride in the idea that you are “scary” to them and so they feed the myth.
I can honestly say that I have never felt this feeling about you and have watched people engage in this from a distance with curiosity. I seen people make comments about this, mostly in a joking way, that don’t seem to match their interactions with you. It’s like everyone has subconciously agreed you are scary and habitually feed that myth with new people catching on and embracing it as time moves on.
“I don’t know… there’s just something about you” is absolutely a cop out, a low commitment to actually thinking about the question and a unwillingness to really think about an actual answer. I suggest that you press them harder next time you ask. Ask them to recall the moment where they picked up this impression and determine it it was from you directly, of from something they heard other people mythologizing about…
In our EM community, everyone loves you, your music, the ways you enthusiastically participate and recognizes your inate kindness…yet the myth persists… weird huh?
I seems like they think you identify with being “Mean Uncle Al” or “Evil Al” and, because they care about you, feed that identity…
Possible???
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Probable. I think your comments are spot on… insightful, accurate, and kind. Reading this I feel like between your words and what I posted the whole “thing” is revealed…. the whole picture.
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