Onward!
Time to move forward.
Some rather momentous changes have occurred which leads me back to my original intent for this blog and beyond. By way of explanation and re-connection / re-booting:
- I originally started this to blog about my experience as a hospice volunteer. Before I completed my training I blogged a bit about how I got to this point. Now I have met J, my first patient, and have had several visits ….. so I have some experiences to blog about.
- I am now laid off. Not unexpected, but still processing. I will not discuss “what happened”. Enough to say a combination of reduced opportunities for the business combined with the pressure to meet “numbers” with my personality and values.
- In addition to hospice work I will also use this space for my occasional posting and rants on topics that interest me / capture my attention but seem to be of no interest to / offend Facebook “friends”. I will post them here to “speak my mind” and on the off chance that someone who has taken the time to come here might be interested and comment.
So … how am I doing re: all this? OK. There are bad and sad moments, but I find that if I just “sit” with myself I find that I am at peace and ready for an opportunity to live my life in a new way … one more true to my nature and values. An interesting evolution in me is in play … I find that for the most part I observe my thoughts / feelings and am not “abducted” by them. If a negative thought / feeling spools up it seems to be often the case that I started it … like a little machine … and if I don’t dwell on it, it goes away. And it’s been an education about me … and people I thought I knew if not as “friends” then as “friendly acquaintances”.
So ….. I will try to be more regular, so to speak, and will follow this up with some real content.
The hospice work is a powerful mixture of sadness and joy. And sends a very powerful message in the face of the layoff experience. What I am dealing with is, largely, an inconvenience. And here is J … a sweet soul with a beautiful voice who once brought joy and music and energy to people … now largely silenced by Alzheimer’s. Too young. I hope that my visits bring her some joy and comfort. She deserves it … and I want to feel that something I do truly matters.
More to follow.
Starry Wisdom 